I heart sayings on t-shirts

OK -- so in May of this year, I was having a normal conversation with a normal person (my friend Marie) about normal things. With no warning, things took a turn for the hilarious, and ever since, my friend and I have been on a journey together -- a quest of sorts.

Throughout our day as we eMail or txt or talk to one another, we pick up on little phrases that would make great t-shirts. Sometimes we see something all on our own, and eMail each other these t-shirt ideas. It's something of an obsession (shhhh -- we don't have a problem though).

Keep in mind we've not actually seen any of these phrases printed on t-shirts. They're just phrases we think would be funny if printed on a t-shirt! Here are some of the best ones we've come up with so far.

(note: You may not think these are funny at all. Then again, you may think these are funny enough to have whatever you are eating or drinking come out your nose. ye be forewarned.)

Here is the one that started it all:

Just rinse it off and make a cobbler


Here are a bunch more:

If my job was to make you happy, they'd have to pay me a lot more!

Joyriding vampires taunt me with hooch

There's no steam, so I don't think the pee is warm

I had to borrow the pooper

I'm too funny to hate

Giant Fiery Marshmallows!

You're just here to confuse me

No matter whether you urinate on yourself or simply do nothing

You'd best not glisten in my bubble!

Maybe you could shave your feet too

The awkward silence rages on while the lemon dies

It's not easy being cheezy

I usually don't get excited about meat

Hopefully I will be normal by tomorrow

Filled with congealed diarrhea

Great minds think alike. I think.

My hands feel crunchy today

Hoodoo: it's what's for lunch

Think you're done pooing? Think again!

I'm definitely not into sniffing

I try not to think of where my doggies' lips have been when I give them kisses

Hard to believe that two weeks from today I'll be eating deliciously juicy ham!

Now that sounds tasty!

My butt has multiple names

Front: Coleslaw gives me gas
Back: I had some for lunch today!

Might as well enjoy it before the white splotches get cow-like

I'm hairy

A nice flip is important to me

Sweet! Free pens!

There's a lot of stuff in hot dogs!

I wash because I phobe

I love the screaming sounds!

Front: Peanuts work too
Back: But the salt dries things out up there!



Had enough? I'm sure we'll come up with more!

~ Keith